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twennysix | they/them | jamaican + queer + asexual + infp + aquarius | send me music recs! | used to be boobiequake

iratusmagus:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

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Obviously he needs a colorful and ostentatious display. Perhaps aome dye for his plumage?

kiefbowl:

thank god I got whatever’s wrong with me that isn’t the kind of wrong with me that would have me falling in love with an ai chatbot or whatever the fuck

wordfather:

dont look at me with those big beautiful eyes im trying to be Weird and evil to you

littledoggy-girlcollar:

“do something useful for doomsday prep like learn how to jar vegetables or grow fruits or first aid” ok well im training carrier pigeons so we can continue to communicate long distances. his name will be fax machine.

miiilowo:

struggling to phrase this but do u ever experience something or get really into a piece of media genre of music etc and then you’re looking as it’s happening and go Ahh yeah no this is awakening some personality traits that won’t go away for the rest of my life

sprachgefuehle:

sprachgefuehle:

sprachgefuehle:

I just got the funniest caution message at the beginning of a Wikipedia article

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Yeah.

meow-moment:

i do not minmax i do not play competitively i do not optimize my build i do not grind i do not topscore i do not give a shit about leaderboards. i play to have fun and if im not having fun i go do something else

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mousegirlheart:

zealotarchaeologist:

i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

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notahorseindisguise:

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tbh every sentence in this screenshot is fucking killing me

distributing-direwolves:

egirlbutternubs:

I tried to slip CBD gummies into some kids halloween candy like i saw on the news but the kids recognized them and laughed at me for not having any real weed

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These are the sort of people that would lose their life savings to a guy doing three card monte on a street corner if he was wearing a zoot suit and introduced himself as “Vinnie ‘Quickfingers’ Sanchez”.

sackboys-moved:

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When someone says something reminded them of you. You know

der-ewige-retard:

m3n4c3v35537:

unexplained-events:

Faces carved into the walls of the Paris Catacombs

Frenchmen be like “this pitch black cave full of skeletons is not scary enough, I must make it worse”

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